I picked up Tiny Pants and Big Pants from school and went to the grocery store on the way home. The kids are agreeable to grocery shopping - they get a free cookie in the bakery and sometimes get a toy from the little machines on the way out.
Big Pants has pretty much outgrown the little machines, as his brother calls them. He realizes at the whopping age of nine that mostly they contain useless crap that breaks before you get home, but Tiny Pants is still enthralled with the promise of the unknown bounty they contain. His favorite is the one labeled Fun Mix, or perhaps Good Time Mix, I forget the exact name. Instead of having themed toys, say all tiny football helmets or sticky fruit on a string, it has a plethora of good and bad toys. He is always disappointed with his prize, but he keeps hoping.
There was the gold bracelet that broke before we got home, the tiny molded plastic animals that are too small to play with, and a lot of large plastic dice that always end up on the same number no matter how hard you throw them.
Yesterday, he was bummed out in the dramatic way of six year olds when he opened his magical plastic bubble to reveal a wad of blue sticky stuff.
BIG PANTS: That's what you get for choosing the Good Time Mix.
TINY PANTS: It has a hole at both ends! Wait, never mind, it's a bracelet. I like it Mama.
Seeing as I was driving, I didn't bother to look over my shoulder for this conversation to verify what his toy was until I got home. He took off his bracelet during a heated round of duck,duck,goose we were playing and asked me to put it on the table for him. That's when I saw this:
Um, not sure that's a bracelet kid. It looked suspiciously like something designed for adult pleasure, only of a cheaper material. Perhaps the filler of the little machines got his stop wrong, and this was intended for a bathroom of a particular kind of bar.
But maybe it really is a bracelet. Maybe I see things less innocently than most. All I know is he is not wearing it to school, in spite of what he thinks. That's a conversation with his teacher I'd rather avoid.