Monday, October 27, 2014

Guest Post: Children Should Never See Their Mom in Her Underwear

I am always looking for new voices to guest post on Only-Mama. I strong-armed encouraged a friend who does not normally submit her writing to the Internet At Large to guest post  today.

I love her voice and her story. I give you Children Should Never See Their Mom in Her Underwear by AnonyMama.  I think you'll agree that she should keep writing!


I am a single mother of two children. My daughter, The Bug, is 9 years old and my son,The Boy, is 6. I feel we do well together, a healthy balance of ridiculousness and responsibility. I let my kids watch TV, YOUTUBE, listen to risque music and talk openly with me about whatever comes in their minds. I allow them to censor their own activities and rarely do I need to intervene. This works well for me because I like to shower during awake hours, and take long naps and spend more than 3 seconds in the bathroom at a time. I recently did have to censor a young female pop artist based only on her album cover. I told my daughter at the time that I am sure the female star is great, however wearing a G-String for the world to see did not sit well with me.

Nicki Min-no.

As we were driving home from an outing gone horribly wrong the other night, the kids were talking in the back seat about popular music. The Bug mentioned to me that she was on her internet radio station and saw the female artists’ album cover. I mentioned that as women we really should be mindful of how we present ourselves and not have our G-strings hanging out. The Boy asked from the back seat “what’s a G-string?’’ and the few sentences that followed in the dark car that night will haunt me forever. My head started giving me answers on how to help my son understand the G-String. I struggled to think of what to say because my very own dresser drawers hold (maybe) 3 pairs of full bottom underwear, the rest thongs.

Are you sure it's not
 a hammock for a hamster?

“What’s a G-string you ask? Well, you know what my underwear looks like?” I know the car is dark inside but I still refuse to look in the rear view mirror to see The Boy’s face. He mumbles something in response.  “A G-string is much smaller.” For some reason I kept on talking that uncomfortable mom talk to try to smooth things over, but I was making it worse. I blurted out, “children should never see their mom in her underwear.”

The Bug started to go into great detail about how one morning she was sick and sleeping in my bed. I had to get ready for work and while getting myself dressed I told her to close her eyes. She opened them and saw me getting dressed and, of course, my thong.

The Boy started to tell me how one time I was getting dressed in my room and he was there. I told him to turn around so I could change. When I was getting dressed he forgot and turned around and saw me without my bra on.

I laugh when I think about all of the things I try to do to protect my kids from the outside world. But it turns out I am sometimes the biggest threat! Will this make me change my behavior while getting dressed with them in the same room?  Probably not. Will I continue to censor them from Nicki Minaj? ABSOLUTELY!

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