Monday, July 21, 2014

Things I've learned after 5 days in the Woods with the Boys


1. Not all paddles float. 

2. The longer one debates if the paddle is worth being rescued when it is 60 degrees outside and the lake is cold, the less likely the rescue attempt will succeed. 

3. Diving into lake to rescue paddle 3 seconds too late is cold and futile. And wet. Did I mention cold? 

4. Goggles also do not float long enough to be rescued. 

5. (Some) Amish people have a decent sense of humor about having model rockets land on their roof. 

6. Alpacas have three stomachs. They chew, swallow, regurgitate, and chew more. You can watch the food go up and down their necks, making their necks looks like big fuzzy anacondas.  I'm now quite sure that alpacas are really big headed snakes with legs. 

7. Little boys occasionally sing odes to their penises when they think no one is listening. 

8.  When one has lost a rocket or two onto the roof of the Amish farm, you can make a rocket out of a stick, which is way more satisfying than using a pre-made rocket.  This causes one to become obsessed with what else they can launch.  Ugly shoe launching seems a worthwhile endeavor.   

9.   It only takes about five minutes for small boys to collect enough rocks in their pockets for their pants fall completely off.

10.  When using a tractor to pull a truck out of the mud, it is best when the truck is taken out of park before the tractor guns it. 

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