Monday, April 28, 2014

The Day the New Toy Ran Away From Home

Do you ever have a day with no plans and the kids are home, and you think, oh, won't it be nice to stay home and relax with the children? And then you realize that although it feels like 57 days have passed, it is only noon, and you have an entire lifetime to survive before bedtime?

You could take the children to a museum or something, but perhaps you are lazy and tired, and not in the mood for other people. Or maybe you're sick or hurt your big toe or don't want to fill the car up with gas and the tank is empty.

But then you remember that the reason you had children was to do all those fun things you loved best about childhood or maybe never got to do. Things like roller coasters, water slides, and buying expensive toys.  It occurs to you that you are finally the grown up, and you can decide to do any one of those things right now.

Except, of course, for that whole leaving the house and hurt toe and being around other people part, which leaves really only one feasible option: buying the kids a toy you always wanted and never got when you were young.  After all, you probably need laundry detergent or toilet paper or something else essential and should go to the store anyway.

It may take some convincing to get the kids to choose the toy you want, because they foolishly think this toy buying is all about them, but if you persist, you can get the toy you want, and that's a good thing. I mean, it's your money, right?

So you buy the amazing toy and take it home, and ignore the directions that say it is for ages 12 and up and open it and put in batteries and let the children use your toy.  And it is perfect and good.  Let's say, for the sake of argument, that the fabulous toy is a remote control quad copter that hovers and flies around the living room like a mini alien. 

So what if the directions say it is for indoor use only? It's beautiful out. You can sit on the porch and watch the children play with the Awesome New Toy, which they do.  The children are laughing, the sun is shining, and the quad copter is going higher and higher and…

down the street
over two apartment buildings
and out of sight.

Run! Chase the delightful new toy that is running away from home!

You and the kids turn the corner and it is gone. It's not in the parking lot, or the grass, or the street.

You ask a neighbor carrying boxes into her house if she saw it, and she says, no, but there's a wild bunny over there.   Great, but unless the bunny can fly and be controlled with a hand held device while doing so, it is completely irrelevant.

Perhaps at this point you ask the tiny child to wiggle the remote so perhaps the toy will make whirring sounds.  Nothing.

You cross the street to the giant chasm  on the other side.  not a ravine, but a full-fledged gorge ringed with a cliff.  A steep cliff, with a sharp vertical drop off and jagged rocks.  And there, less than a foot from the edge, is your brand new toy.  And it's whirring and about to take off again.

Cheat death? Abandon the toy? Get someone else to retrieve it?

The latter, obviously. You can't lose that toy and you can't let the children watch you fall to your death, and luckily a Hero has appeared that is willing to put their life on the line and save the beloved new toy.

Which from now on, stays in the house.

1 comment:

  1. І coulɗ not refrain from commenting. Perfectly written!

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