Monday, April 21, 2014

The Awkward Memories of the Adult are Visited Upon their Children


Apparently all those weird things unique to your childhood can not be escaped.  You get to relive all those awkward moments a second time through your children. 

"Mama, why do Nana and Grandma have pictures of naked people hugging in the bathroom?" Tiny Pants asked me when I took him to go potty in my parents' house. 

Edited for readers who have little eyes over their shoulder


Well, there's an interesting question. Although he's not yet four feet tall, apparently Tiny Pants can bend that neck of his all the way up above the tile to view the vintage, slightly pornographic art.

They are cool pictures, in all honesty.  They are the kind of thing I might gravitate towards myself, but I am also aware that my boys are of an age that notice things like naked women, and I knew exactly how they felt. When I grew up, my house was filled with naked statues.  After much discussion and begging and being lectured to about art, my parents finally took away the statues when I was somewhere in my teens, long after I had to answer my friends' awkward questions. 

"well, it's a kind of art," I started to explain.  "Like statues in the museum."  I wasn't entirely sure this would work, but it sounded more understandable than a lecture on feminism and beauty and owning your own sexuality.

Luckily Big Pants walked by and interrupted me. "It's just art. Lots of artists do naked people."  Never have I been as glad of an eavesdropping brother as I was right then. Tiny Pants just said, "Okay."

Yes, it is erotic art, which is slightly different from classic nudes, but I decided not to go into a history lesson. My parents no longer have children regularly visiting their house, and I don't expect them to change their decorating for me. Still, I'm tempted to bring some small bandaids with me next time we go to visit for emergency nipple hiding. Then again,perhaps the kids will benefit from having slightly weird grandparents who like vintage nudes.  I'm sure they will like to visit that bathroom a lot in their teen years. 

Either way, I'll work on getting smoother with my answers before our next visit. 

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