Wednesday, January 22, 2014

This Awkward Conversation Was Brought to You By Myth Busters

I was really excited to find Myth Busters on Netflix.  Maybe now the kids and I could watch something we all enjoy!  I'm always a little jealous of Daddy, because he loves to watch football with the kids and fart and do all that boy stuff.  He loves the same stuff they do.

I love some stuff that they boys love, but farts and sports are not my thing. Myth Busters, however, I can totally get behind.  It's science-y. They use math.  OK,  true confession- I don't love math really at all, but I want my kids to be more open-minded about it than I am. On Myth Busters they are always blowing stuff up, and in my house we all like blowing stuff up, and if we can't do it, watching other people do it is second best. 

It took all of one episode for both boys to get hooked. 

"Mama, can we power watch this?" Big Pants asked.  I have recently introduced him to power watching shows on Netflix, where you watch one show for hours on end. Next Episode? Click.  Fine, fine parenting I tell you. 

Well, of course we can power watch Myth Busters.  In bed, while Mama snoozes. Then we can have breakfast and watch more on the couch, while Mama snoozes.  Have I mentioned how much I love my Roku internet streaming device? I need to find out how to get them to sponsor my blog. I'll willingly talk about them all the time for cash. Here I am talking about them for free.   

So we watched Adam and Jamie blow up a toilet.  We watched them try to make a frozen bullet.  We learn about exploding pants while I keep up my Rah-rah science! refrain in the background. 

(Look! You could blow stuff up for a living! Look! Science is fun!)

I was holding Myth Busters by the hand and walking down the aisle with them, ready to love the show forever and ever, and then they had to treacherously betray my innocent trust with Exploding Breast Implants on Airplanes.

Those pig f*ckers.

BIG PANTS: Mama, what are breast implants?

Lord, I am not ready for this conversation.

MAMA: Well, some women want larger breasts, so they have a surgery put those things (pointing at TV screen) into their bodies.

image: wikipedia

No judgement. Just the facts. Good job, Mama!

TINY PANTS: What are breasts?

BIG PANTS: You know what breasts are! Everybody knows what breasts are!

TINY PANTS: But you don't have breast implants, do you Mama?

MAMA: No, I don't have breast implants.

TINY PANTS: So your breasts will never explode???

MAMA: Don't worry, Mama's breasts won't explode on an airline. Ever.

BIG PANTS: But look, they don't explode anyway!

(We are all a little disappointed, actually. We really like to watch things explode.)

Maybe I will start watching football after all. 

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