Monday, December 9, 2013

7 Perspectives Common to Cats and Toddlers

Both cats and toddlers are small and rather feral. To say that either children or cats are fully domesticated is completely false advertising. They are wild beasts that are only controllable because they are small.  Their perspective on life is very similar.  

For example:

1. Large people scoop you up and kiss you against your will.  Any retaliation against this results in swift punishment. 

2. Sometimes the large people hold you down and wipe your butt, whether you think you need it needs to be wiped or not. 

3.  Sometimes the large people force you into a bath for absolutely no reason whatsoever. 

4. Your keepers do not understand that  the only place you can really sleep comfortably at two in the morning is on top of their head.  They just don't want you to be well rested. 

5. You are always starving and have absolutely no control over when you are fed.  If you use your initiative and get your own snacks, your initiative is punished.

6.  The people in power do not understand that it is your destiny to climb the Christmas tree.  Why do they torment you with putting up such a fabulous thing and then tell you "no" every time you go near it?

7. The large people think it is funny to post pictures of you with embarrassing captions on the internet which is obviously beneath your dignity. They have no respect whatsoever.

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