Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Winning with Leg Warmers


If you were old enough to remember it the first time, you are too old to wear it the second time.


I have long held the above wisdom to be true. Nothing looks more ridiculous than an older woman desperately chasing her youth through fashion she is just too old for. I decided long ago never to stay on the fashion elevator too long. 


Fashion Elevator courtesy of artobserver.com



But then they brought back leg warmers.


In 4th grade I had pink leg warmers, after begging and pleading with my mother to let me substitute them for the hated snow pants.  I had only one pair, and they were perfect bubble gum pink.  I could wear them folded down over the lower half of my legs, or pull them all the way up to my crotch when I walked the mile and a half home from school.  They were my favorite thing in the closet.

Image: punkbabyclothes.net

My favorite TV show was Fame, and I even had the poster on my wall of the feet in ballet shoes and leg warmers that was in the studio on the show.

Image: allposterimages

Leg warmers were soon replaced with wearing multiple pairs of baggy socks worn over top of your jeans so that we all had fuzzy cankles. It was nice and all, but it wasn't the same. Yes, you could color coordinate your baggy socks and you could borrow socks from your friends if you went bowling and forgot to wear socks, because everyone else had 2 or 3 pairs of socks on at all times.  But baggy socks were like a redneck cousin to the pure joy of the leg warmer.

Then slowly, stealthily, leg warmers started reappearing again, all tricky fashion ninja like. 

So what if she's not
actually wearing leg warmers?
image: angelbodywear

My heart leaped with glee and I purchased several pairs immediately, though I was a little hesitant to wear them.  They were slouchy. I was old.  Did their slouch mimic and accentuate the slouch of my face?

In short, can a 40 year old wear leg warmers and not be ridiculous?  

Fuck, yes she can! 

Let's admit it; wearing a skirt sucks in the cold. I hate to freeze for fashion.  Leg warmers allow you to wear skirts and things and not freeze.  

This is good for:

A. Not Freezing, obviously,

and more importantly

B. Keeping your leg hair short.  Leg hair grows faster when you are cold and all goose bumped.  I guess it is trying to make you warmer.  Leg Warmers are fashions way of protecting you against this evil yet proven phenomenon. 


Plus, you can have so many looks with leg warmers!  

You can wear them slouchy and transition your shoes-that-go-only-with-pants 
into shoes-that-can-be-worn-with-a-skirt.


You can use them to turn summer sling-backs into a winter appropriate choice and thus hit the end of season sale racks with a clear conscience. You really can wear those in December:

Yes, these are my winter shoes.




You can wear them all sexy like

This much fabulosity can never go out of style.



And you can wear them around the house when you are too lazy to find pants. 
Or shave your legs. Or both. 

Pants? Who needs pants?

I don't care if I was old enough to remember wearing them the first time. I don't care if they are only in style for ten minutes. I am getting off the fashion elevator here with my leg warmers on, and I don't even care if they make my knees look slouchy. I love them like I love chocolate covered bacon.


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