Monday, November 11, 2013

Why am I Blogging, Anyway?

I missed a week of blogging for the first time since I started this project eleven months ago.  I wasn't sick, or out of ideas, or not writing. I currently have four half finished documents open on my laptop.  The problem is that everything I write lately is introspective and serious. I have lost my funny. 

I am not actually an optimistic, look on the bright side kind of person. I'm kind of a downer in real life, so I really like how the tone of my blog has evolved to be upbeat and amusing.  But this week I ran out of upbeat.  

I'm going to blame my kid for this one. Tiny Pants is having a hard time adjusting to school.  He loves his teacher, raises his hand, and does his best job on his assignments.   But he doesn't have friends. This week, he dropped this on me:

That pretty much ate my funny for the week. My precious, sweet, legitimately funny child is not making an effortless transition into kindergarten. 

It breaks my heart to hear those words, and I know it is something he needs to work out for himself.  Oh, I am doing my part and scheduling play dates every week with his school friends, but I can't be on the playground with him.  Not only does this reduce my inner lightheartedness, but, damn it, that kid supplies a lot of my inspiration. If Tiny Pants ain't funny, Mama ain't funny.  He's my muse.

So my issue is, do I publish the not funny stuff I have been writing, or do I wait to be funny? Do I risk losing momentum and audience by not posting, or do I risk losing audience by posting heavy stuff? What is the purpose of my blog, anyway? Is it to allow me to express myself, sort of a self-publishing function, or is it to try and develop an audience and following? Have I backed myself into a corner by trying to always keep it upbeat? And is it more honest and real not to?

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