Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Let's Talk About Sex (Umm, No)

I have not answered the "Where do babies come from?" question at my house yet. It has been asked, but I have avoided the issue so well that they have stopped asking.


 What I have done when asked was to start talking about DNA, God, Science and the debate about who creates life until they are confused and frustrated. I also mention magic goo.

 When I told my ex that they were asking The Question, he replied with: 

Which was not entirely helpful, as I was planning on pawning the conversation off on him. Most of my friends have had some variation of "the talk" with their children, and only one friend's kids cried. The rest seemed to accept it and move on. The kids don't have an issue with it, parents like me have the issue.

I have avoided the talk partially because I was the girl who sat down her church school class in first grade and told them the facts of life. I don't think we ever discussed anything other than sex ever again. Heck, I'm almost forty and it's still a major topic of conversation. 

I have one friend whose son never asked and my friend never brought it up on her own. He's a teenager now, and he has gotten his answers somewhere from someone else. If I don't have that awkward conversation, I will lose the ability to control the information, and I will no longer be their go-to person for all important matters that weigh on their minds. I want them to come to me first, and my lack of candor is making a wall where I do not want one to exist. I recently read an article about popular misconceptions about sex, and I truly believe knowing the facts keeps kids safer in an unsafe world. 

I am ashamed to say that the reason I haven't addressed the issue has to do with my own discomfort, not because I think they can't handle the information, and also because I didn't want to have that fight with Daddy. I avoid conflict like I avoid touching something that has been recently sneezed on. 

Suddenly, though, I feel like the kids are old enough to know. Big Pants is going into third grade, and while he still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, he has the maturity to accept some basic facts. Unfortunately, because he has stopped asking the questions, I will have to bring it up, which seems even more daunting than answering the questions as they naturally arise. Hopefully the boys won't cry, but if they do, it would be awesome if I could record it. I'm sure it would come in handy when they get girl-fever in Junior High.

P.S. for all my readers with teenaged kids asking embarrassing questions, this site really impressed me. 

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