Saturday, June 8, 2013

This is a Blog about Tea, Though You Have Suffer A Lot Before I Get To The Point

Yes, I use my Xmas mug year round.  The kids got it for me.

My brother is a little weird.  Although he may no longer sport the mohawk he had in high school, he's never going to be exactly normal, and that's OK.  Better, actually, than some boring brother who plays golf and watches football.  

He's 6'9" so he stands out in a crowd. No matter what he does, people look at him.  
He has black hair and green eyes, and he has tattoos so he is interesting to look at. He is Big and Weird.

Oh, he's smart, too.  Statistically the firstborn is several IQ points higher than each subsequent child, and while we know I am smart, he is likely even smarter. Big, Weird, and Smart.

And married, single Mamas. Sorry.

I also have a half-sister.  She has red hair and blue eyes and ginormous boobs so is also interesting to look at, although she doesn't stand out, per se, at 4'9".  She is a legal dwarf, and we are all saving up for Dwarf Armor for her for her 50th birthday which is on the horizon.  Little and Interesting.  And busty.

OK, so in this family of freakishly interesting people, I have brown hair, brown eyes, and am 5' 7".  Average, average, average.  And actually, that is completely fine by me.  Although I am internally weird and off-beat, I can pass as normal, as long as I keep my mouth shut.  Yes, I know, anyone who knows me in real life is asking themselves how often I am capable of keeping my mouth shut and passing as normal. But give me my delusion, dammit. 

So some of you know I occasionally get my ass kicked my anxiety and depression, which I don't think has anything to do with my averageness. I don't say I "struggle" with anxiety or depression, because there's not much struggle.  I struggle moving large pieces of furniture.  When depression and anxiety come to town, it is more like being mowed over by a emo tornado.  There's no struggle.  That's like saying I struggle to put the lava back in the volcano.

My above-mentioned big, weird, smart brother sent me some tulsi tea as a remedy.  Sent as in he went online and ordered it and it came in the mail as a free unexpected present which rocked.  It also looked really nice on my counter for the last several months, as I didn't actually try it.

You see, unlike my brother, I do not consult Chinese herbalists, I do not go into sensory deprivation chambers, and I do not get acupuncture.  Ever.  I go to doctors who insist I call them Dr. Somebody, and there is no chanting or fragrant incense in the waiting room. If I go to a spa, I have a relaxing facial, I do not have needles stuck into my body.  When I drink tea it comes in a bag with a string attached to a little cardboard tab.  It does not require the purchase of a diffuser.

Although I have to admit that I totally dug on buying myself this awesome tea diffuser, because if you need a contraption to drink tea, you might as well have an awesome one. 
I am an awesome robot.
You can buy him here for under $10. 

And here he is trying not to drown in tea:
Help me!

In a completely expected twist (or why else would I be writing this blog) I actually tried the tea this week.  And holy freaking sparkle ponies it actually worked.  As in my anxiety became manageable. My depression ebbed.  There was no wait for it to build up in my system, no need for a prescription, and no calories.  I don't care if it is a placebo.  Tulsi tea rocks.  And now I get to buy myself a cool glass canister for it, and maybe a deep sea diver diffuser as well.
I need no caption.  I speak for myself.



  1. Maybe your best blog yet! You had me laugh out loud several times!! I love reading your stuff, it puts a smile on my face!


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