"Look at me, Mama! I'm surfing!" Big Pants proudly exclaimed while doing what I think more accurately should be described as a 'tail stand' as performed on a skateboard -- except he was doing it on my digital scale.
This was followed by, "Look, Mama! The scale is stuck on 54.2!"
Awesome! I didn't pay any attention as I was trying to coerce two boys to brush their teeth and go to bed. About an hour later I happened to notice said scale was rapidly scrolling through every number it could count. When it got back to zero I stepped on it out of curiosity.
It went back up again, and hovered at two pounds below what I weighed in at this morning. Score! But then it rose. And rose. And stopped at 30 pounds more than my current weight. While I know it is possessed by the devil, it was interesting that the exact number it stopped at was my highest non-pregnant weight ever - a number a scale has not reported in over 8 years. It was taunting me.
I decided that the only possible way to make this right was to sacrifice it with a sledgehammer in the front yard, seeing as there was no handy volcano to throw it into. However, there is currently a thunderstorm brewing complete with lots of lightning. I'm suspicious enough of the evil scale's motives to realize this was probably a ploy to get me out in the rain so it could electrocute me, so I will have to plot its demise more stealthily.
The nagging question is how am I supposed to go to bed tonight knowing a sinister scale with impure motives is right down the hall from me? Do I encircle it in a ring of salt? Cover it with garlic powder? I did remove one battery - one is permanently stuck - but I am not sure that is enough to contain the evil lurking inside it.
Feel free to post suggestions on how to deal with the sinister scale. If I survive the night perhaps I will organize a mass scale destruction. You can bring yours and join me.