Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Inverse Correlation Between Beauty and Effort

I just walked past a mirror and caught a glimpse of myself and thought, "DAMN, I look good!"  Now, before you go off thinking I am full of myself, you need to realize that this isn't a common occurrence.  Normally I zero in on the bulges, wrinkles, sags, and ballooning body parts whenever I look at any part of my body.  Pure joy in my appearance is rare, and for some reason, generally occurs when I haven't showered and am wearing no makeup.

I have a long history with looking good under bad circumstances.  My first drivers license photo was taken when I was sick and hadn't washed my hair in 3 days. I have no makeup on whatsoever, but in the picture I am radiant.  It is by far, the best picture of me ever taken.

My next license picture I wore makeup, did my hair, and looked as scary as 90% of people do in their drivers license photos.  It was then that I discovered the inverse correlation of drivers license photos. The worse you look in real life, the better your picture will turn out.

I met a girl once who insisted the best times she ever had out at a bar were when she looked the absolute worst.  She also said that was when she made the best friends and met her longest term boyfriends.  I never really had the chutzpah to intentionally go out looking like crap, until last week.

I was over at my mother's, and I never bother to do my hair or makeup before I see my mother.  Not only does she not care, but she has a long history of thinking I am beautiful at times when nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, she has in the uncanny ability of picking out the worst pictures of me ever taken and claiming they are her favorites.  After having a glass of wine or two with the Moms I decided to go downtown.  

It was cold, and I was inappropriately dressed, so I borrowed a pair of boy jeans that sort of fit and only kind of made me look like I had a man package and went downtown sans makeup or hair straightening.  I had a blast. I had one of the most fun nights of my life, and in the pictures of me I look happy and glowing. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to stop trying to improve my looks with activities like combing my hair, showering, and wearing makeup.  I'm just going to accept that the whole inner beauty crap my mother has been spouting all my life really does exist, and occasionally not shower so it can shine through.

By the way, if you choose to follow my advice and wash less, this link could use your excess soap: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/haiti-needs-soap.html


  1. Loved this one!nd yes, I think you're beautiful with or without makeup!

  2. I always thought you were very pretty--even when you were very, very pregnant. Maybe i just saw you at your best?


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