Saturday, April 20, 2013

I meant to be a better Mommy.


My mother used to have a house rule that we couldn't talk to her before she poured her second cup of coffee.  I thought she was mean. Now I know that she was brilliant.


Tiny Pants has learned the joy of picking out his own clothes.  This is good, because:

1.  It means less work for me, and I believe we have already established that I am lazy.

2.  I read somewhere once that giving kids control over things that you don't care that much about gives a sense of competence and power and keeps them from having battle of wills tantrum type melt downs.

3. He tends to wear his whackiest outfits to Daddy's house, which I secretly know makes Daddy crazy, or at least I hope it does.  (I am SUCH a grownup, I know.)

But, this morning I had to accompany him to his room (too dark and scary or lonely or something) and wait patiently while he reviewed his options and tried several things on.  Thirty minutes, worth, before coffee.

I snapped and told him to hurry it up, which of course made that sweet little bottom lip go a-trembly and howls erupt, and I felt terrible.  How often had I mulled for longer than 3o minutes over the perfect outfit?  Was it worth yelling at him about? What else did I have to do today anyway?  Oh yeah, I have to drink coffee.

I scooped him up and hugged his tears away and told him to take his time. Luckily, the dog came and found us and whined to go out, allowing me to blame the dog  for my own impatience.  

I do have to say that after years of begging him to wear any clothes -- at least underpants -- that I should be happy he finally wants to wear anything at all.  

I did all I could do. I went into the kitchen and ate 3 cookies and one Dove chocolate square, the kind with the uplifting saying inside the label.  It said "Enjoy Today" or some such bullshittery.  I threw it in the garbage and would have yelled "F - YOU DOVE CHOCOLATES AND YOUR UPLIFTING PLATITUDES!" except the kids were in the next room.  Sigh.  All chocolates should say, "life is hard, you deserve all the chocolate you need, hunny, and don't worry about your weight, you are perfect the way you are and besides Marilyn Monroe was 155 pounds."  Wait, I think they'd need a bigger wrapper for that.

I rescued the wrapper from the trash just for this photo op.

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