I used to have bathtub crayons. For those who don't know, they are these crayons you can use in the tub to draw on the walls. I haven't had them in years, but I didn't remember why, so I bought some more. Now I know why they were banished.
First off, they don't come off easily, and in terms of the red one, ever. Any toy that results in Mama scrubbing the tub really hard multiple times is a bad toy.
Secondly, second graders think it's fun to write things on the wall and laugh uncontrollably and beg you not to look. Today's word was "Hiney."
It is possible that I taught them the word hiney. It's possible this is another example of poor parental judgement. It is definitive that they find hiney the funniest thing ever.
The evening went like this:
Tiny Pants: "Mama, look what Big Pants wrote on the wall!"
Big Pants: "Don't look! Don't look!" (frantic erasing and uncontrollable giggles)
Mama: "What is it?"
Big Pants: (too young to attempt a lie) HINEY! I wrote hiney on the wall!
My mother had a theory that if she didn't make a big deal about swearing, we wouldn't get such a thrill out of doing it. This has resulted in me swearing like a truck driver, so perhaps her theory was flawed. Yet, I just lacked the energy or enthusiasm to respond about "hiney." I don't think hiney is a dirty word. I don't think it is a funny word or a particularly offensive to anyone. I just don't think hiney is a word worth the energy of fussing about.
However, it is the closest to a dirty word that my kids know. In retrospect,it is possible that I just condoned writing dirty words on bathroom walls. If I get a call from the school in a year or two, we will all know why.