I make my kids Barely Recognizable Animals. Or, if you prefer, Animals After Chernobyl. I make them with love and each one has a heart inside (insert Awwwww! here). They are sweet and cuddly and have personality, but are well, barely recognizable. Here is the story of the first one I ever made.
"Mama, can you make me a chipmunk stuffed animal?" Captain Emo asked one day.
"Sure, E, I'll look for a pattern online," I replied. I could sew, in theory. I found a free pattern for something called a "pointy kitty" and figured I could make turn it easily into a chipmunk. How hard could it be?
Capt. Emo was doubtful, but I impatiently reassured him that Of Course it would be a chipmunk when I was done. I Knew What I was Doing!
"I want it to be brown and black with a white belly, Mama."
"Ok, I have yellow. How about yellow?"
While sewing the yellow chipmunk, it became apparent that:
"Hey, Captain Emo, this is going to be an imaginative creature," I said, in an effort to let him down slowly.
"Ok, Mama, as long as it has a bushy tail."
"Oh, one thing I can be sure of, it will have a bushy tail!"
Or not, it turns out. And it's back legs looked rather like testicles.
"So, Kid, sometimes you make something and it doesn't turn out quite like you want."
"That's ok Mama, at least it will be yellow."
Well, one thing for sure; it was yellow. And I made it with love. Luckily, he thought it was adorable and named it Chippery, because it was, obviously, a chipmunk. And I love that damn kid.